Living in a sub-tropical climate has its advantages, such as walking out on a sunny December day without a jacket. On a really warm December day, one is even able to go swimming.
When I moved to Florida, I had to get used to all different kinds of critters -- bobcats, foxes, black bear, lizards, bullfrogs, tortoises, and a host of other creatures I was not used to seeing as often up north.
Unfortunately, I discovered an entirely new group of beasts that I have no desire to share any of my space with.
Bugs.
You see, the warmer the climate, the bigger the bugs. Since I have been down south, I have seen some of the biggest bugs I have ever seen in my lifetime. Some of the bugs here are bigger than birds. I remember when the two boys next door were playing in their garage, a beast of a bug flew into their space, causing them to scream like girls as they ran out as quickly as their little legs could carry them.
The grasshoppers are enormous. My first spring here, I saw one of them on the outside of the screen of my lanai and I was terrified to go outside because I was afraid to be near anything that large. Wolf spiders take up a special section of real estate all their own and if that real estate happens to be your bathroom, well, you have...issues.
The biggest offender of my bug world is the palmetto bug.
Palmetto bug.
The name sounds so sweet and innocent, doesn't it? The name "palmetto bug" creates the illusion of a beautiful, colorful bug that one may possibly find in a palm tree, perhaps as dainty as a ladybug or as beautiful as a butterfly.
Unfortunately, the palmetto bug is neither beautiful nor dainty. The palmetto bug is designed from the stuff that nightmares are made of; and, unfortunately, they are a common occurrence in a sub-tropical climate. This hideous beast is what a typical palmetto bug looks like.
They find their way in by the sneakiest of methods. They like to hang out in door jams and in other tight places where they feel "secure." They seem to appear out of nowhere. For example, one night I was setting up my coffee maker for the next morning. I saw a bit of coffee that I thought I spilled on the counter and when I leaned in closer, I realized that it had legs. There was one of this horribly ugly creatures, flipped over on its back, legs wildly kicking.
I don't worry so much about the upside down ones because those are the ones about to die. If they are flipped over, that means that they are about to die and that they are slowly drying out. Just leave them there to die on their own or nail them with ant and roach spray and have the husband remove the carcass later.
It's the right-side up ones really freak me out. You haven't lived until you have lifted up a box of cereal and seen one scurry towards you or sat on the commode only to see antennae (one of their favorite places to hide is around the toilet bowl). Finding one in the shower is another personal favorite of mine.
They don't do much. As far I I know, they don't bite and they don't multiply in the same numbers or speed as the city cockroach does. On average, I see three a week. However, they are bigger, uglier, and harder to kill than their city counterparts. Step on a palmetto bug and the beast lives on.
I realize that my fear is somewhat irrational. In fact, my entire thought pattern regarding bugs is irrational. The bigger the bug, the greater the fear. Using my logic, I would not be in the least bit fazed if a black widow crawled on me, but would run screaming if a palmetto bug came within a few feet of me.
It's a life with bugs.
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