My Legacy

For the record, I am short and stocky. Even when I was "thin," I had never really felt that way. 

A few months ago, my husband and I took a ride with my parents to visit old friends, Tina and Joe. Tina was raised by my grandparents. My paternal grandmother (Frieda) was like a mother to Tina and my paternal grandfather walked her down the aisle on her wedding day.

When I got out of the car, Tina and I greeted each other. 13 years had passed since we had seen each other.

"Oh my God! You are looking more like Frieda every day!"

I cringed.

I loved my grandmother dearly and she was one of the most wonderful, strong, and loving women I knew, but I didn't want to really look like her.

She was certainly not ugly, but she had a stocky German figure that I prayed I would never end up having. In fact, I starved myself all through my 20's in attempt to avoid the inevitable.

I always knew I looked like her. At her wake, when I saw a picture sitting on top of her casket, for a split second, I thought it was me. The picture was of my grandparents on their 25th wedding anniversary in 1951.

I always wanted to have my mother's petite frame. When I was in my 20's, I would have given anything for my mother's figure.

My entire life has been a struggle to be thin but as I age I seem to be losing ground by gaining inches. My slow metabolism and my medication don't help much.

Tina looked shocked at the crestfallen look on my face.

"Frieda was the most beautiful woman I knew," Carla told me as she turned around and headed into the house.